Joke Thread

WJCO said:
That was good, lol.
Click to expand...
Thanks..... 🤣 A buddy of mine sent that to me on Facebook and I looked up their YouTube channel and watched a ton of their other videos as well, I think that by far was the funniest one but there were a lot of good ones on there if your bored and looking for some comedy.

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A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied, in a loud voice. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was
deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?"

The man responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT
PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."
 
Sharkey said:
A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied, in a loud voice. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was
deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?"

The man responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT
PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."
Click to expand...
Sounds about right! 😆

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Sharkey said:
A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied, in a loud voice. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was
deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?"

The man responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT
PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."
Click to expand...
Haha

You didn't happen to write that based off of true and actual events did you?..😉

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Sharkey said:
A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied, in a loud voice. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was
deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?"

The man responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT
PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."
Click to expand...
jesse3638 said:
Haha

You didn't happen to write that based off of true and actual events did you?..😉

Sent from my 2PYB2 using WAYALIFE mobile app
Click to expand...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuNVKLYIq_0
 
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, “He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”
 
And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead men and said "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly".

The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave, were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge".

The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said "You were not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon".

The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari".

A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari. There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying. "What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?"

Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard".
 
I got in trouble for telling this one in kindergarten. I had heard my dad tell it and everyone always laughed.

How many bones does a chicken have in its neck?
Enough to keep its pecker up.


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