Shower Thoughts

THE FOLLOWING RANDOM SHOWER THOUGHT IS IN NO WAY CONNECTED TO A PROTRACTED EVENT THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE OCCURRED AT A FAMILY GATHERING THIS PAST CHRISTMAS EVE

When there is eminent danger of a thermonuclear fart, DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. DO NOT PAUSE TO COLLECT WALLET, KEYS OR MOBILE PHONE. DO NOT STOP TO OPEN WINDOWS. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.

Humans are faced with exposure to MOAGs (Mother Of All Gutbombs) on a daily basis. Those in the greatest danger of exposure are men and women in the company of men. The risk of succumbing to the noxious fumes and dying (or worse) is extreme. When the balloon goes up, you must be ready to take immediate action to protect yourself.

If you suspect you have been caught in a potential MOAG event, or are about to, follow the safety guidelines below-

-If there is an audible warning accompanying the release of gas, or if someone calls out “I just farted”, do not pause to sniff the air. Assume an extinction level event has just occurred. Do not wait to determine if the offender is exaggerating or lying. Evacuate immediately.

-If there is no audible warning, evacuate immediately upon catching the faintest whiff. Do not second guess your nose. Do not take a second whiff to verify an event has occurred. Do not pause to determine if you can “Ride Out” the event. Do not waste time asking if anyone just farted or in an attempt to uncover the true culprit. Do not blame dad or the dog. Any hesitation could prove fatal.

-Never attempt to rate an event. There is no glory, or anything manly, in bragging about the “worst fart” ever smelled. Especially if you’re lying. Only shame, knowing you did not act in the critical moment. Take no chances! The scars are permanent. The PTS is real.

REMEMBER- BE SMART! NEVER SMELL THE FART!
 
Last edited:
GP NOIR said:
THE FOLLOWING RANDOM SHOWER THOUGHT IS IN NO WAY CONNECTED TO A PROTRACTED EVENT THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE OCCURRED AT A FAMILY GATHERING THIS PAST CHRISTMAS EVE

When there is eminent danger of a thermonuclear fart, DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. DO NOT PAUSE TO COLLECT WALLET, KEYS OR MOBILE PHONE. DO NOT STOP TO OPEN WINDOWS. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.

Humans are faced with exposure to MOAGs (Mother Of All Gutbombs) on a daily basis. Those in the greatest danger of exposure are men and women in the company of men. The risk of succumbing to the noxious fumes and dying (or worse) is extreme. When the balloon goes up, you must be ready to take immediate action to protect yourself.

If you suspect you have been caught in a potential MOAG event, or are about to, follow the safety guidelines below-

-If there is an audible warning accompanying the release of gas, or if someone calls out “I just farted”, do not pause to sniff the air. Assume an extinction level event has just occurred. Do not wait to determine if the offender is exaggerating or lying. Evacuate immediately.

-If there is no audible warning, evacuate immediately upon catching the faintest whiff. Do not second guess your nose. Do not take a second whiff to verify an event has occurred. Do not pause to determine if you can “Ride Out” the event. Do not waste time asking if anyone just farted or in an attempt to uncover the true culprit. Do not blame dad or the dog. Any hesitation could prove fatal.

-Never attempt to rate an event. There is no glory, or anything manly, in bragging about the “worst fart” ever smelled, even if you’re lying. Only shame, knowing you did not act in the critical moment. Take no chances! The scars are permanent. The PTS is real.

REMEMBER- BE SMART! NEVER SMELL THE FART!
Click to expand...
I always give fair warning, "Uh Oh"
 
GP NOIR said:
THE FOLLOWING RANDOM SHOWER THOUGHT IS IN NO WAY CONNECTED TO A PROTRACTED EVENT THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE OCCURRED AT A FAMILY GATHERING THIS PAST CHRISTMAS EVE

When there is eminent danger of a thermonuclear fart, DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. DO NOT PAUSE TO COLLECT WALLET, KEYS OR MOBILE PHONE. DO NOT STOP TO OPEN WINDOWS. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.

Humans are faced with exposure to MOAGs (Mother Of All Gutbombs) on a daily basis. Those in the greatest danger of exposure are men and women in the company of men. The risk of succumbing to the noxious fumes and dying (or worse) is extreme. When the balloon goes up, you must be ready to take immediate action to protect yourself.

If you suspect you have been caught in a potential MOAG event, or are about to, follow the safety guidelines below-

-If there is an audible warning accompanying the release of gas, or if someone calls out “I just farted”, do not pause to sniff the air. Assume an extinction level event has just occurred. Do not wait to determine if the offender is exaggerating or lying. Evacuate immediately.

-If there is no audible warning, evacuate immediately upon catching the faintest whiff. Do not second guess your nose. Do not take a second whiff to verify an event has occurred. Do not pause to determine if you can “Ride Out” the event. Do not waste time asking if anyone just farted or in an attempt to uncover the true culprit. Do not blame dad or the dog. Any hesitation could prove fatal.

-Never attempt to rate an event. There is no glory, or anything manly, in bragging about the “worst fart” ever smelled. Especially if you’re lying. Only shame, knowing you did not act in the critical moment. Take no chances! The scars are permanent. The PTS is real.

REMEMBER- BE SMART! NEVER SMELL THE FART!
Click to expand...
i just saved you all... I sat on it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom