Might be misunderstanding your post with the typos, but you can or cannot get the nut to 35ft/lbs?
You should tighten the upper ball joint nut to only 35ft/lbs first, then go down to the lower ball joint and tighten to 70ft/lbs if I remember correctly. Then go back to the upper joint and tighten to 70ft/lbs and insert the cotter pin. Finish it up by torquing the lower joint to 105ft/lbs.
Also, be sure you are using a torque wrench and are not just guessing on torques.
Hope this helps!
ERAU
